I'm dreading [insert any event]. Luckily there's a bar there though, so we'll just drink through it, yeah?
Are you sure, not even a half?
A shandy?
A small wine?
A single?
Okay. Are you driving?
You know you're allowed a drink and you can still drive under the limit, right?
Are you pregnant?
You know you're allowed a small glass of wine when you're pregnant, right?
In [insert random country] they drink when they're pregnant
My mum drank when she was pregnant and I turned out fine
Are you training for something?
Are you on antibiotics?
You know you can still drink and take antibiotics, right?
Oh. Do you have, like, *whispers* a problem? You know, are you an alcoholic?
Phew, so why don't you have a beer then?
Excuse me, you do realise that the drink you ordered is a non alcoholic beer?! Sorry, just checking as I've made the same mistake before!
Well, it's actually 0.5% alcohol, so it's not really alcohol free, is it?
Go on, let your hair down. Just one!
Fair play, I could never do [insert literally anything ever] without a drink!
I'm just not ready to give up alcohol
I just like red wine too much
I just love whisky
You just can't beat a good pint in the sun, can you?
When do you think you'll drink next?
What, as in never EVER?!
What about at [insert name]'s wedding?
What about at the Christmas party?
What about on your birthday?
What do you do on, like, Fridays?
What about at your wedding?
YOU WONT HAVE A DRINK AT YOUR OWN WEDDING?!
What does your partner say about you not drinking?
Does your partner drink?
I could never be with someone that doesn't drink
My drinking isn't that bad really, I only drink [on weekends / on holiday / at football / after work / with clients / with mates / everyday]
[insert name] drinks way more than me, so I'm not that bad really
I drink less nowadays, anyway
It's all about moderation though, have you tried just having, like, a few?
Eugh, you're so smug and will be feeling fine tomorrow. It's so unfair
At least I know how to have fun
Here's a jagerbom- ahh sorry, yeah.. you don't drink, I've bought it though, so you may as well?
OMG IS THAT A DRINK IN YOUR HAND? Are you drinking? Oh it's AF. I was so excited for a second then...
Do you find drunk people annoying?
What's it like being out when everyone else is drinking? Must be weird, I could never...
I know I've said this [twenty times] already, but fair play for being here sober mate
Thank you so much for driving, you're a lifesaver
You know you could have had one beer and still driven though, right?
I feel awful
I wish I didn't drink.
- Matt
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